Tag Post*

*for lack of a better title. Tagged by Mandy Cruz.

rule 1: always post the rules
rule 2: answer the questions the person who tagged you asked and write your questions
rule 3: tag 11 people and link them to the post
rule 4: actually tell the people you tagged that you tagged them

1. Did you like the last movie you saw? 
Thor 2? Hell yeah.
2. Favorite cocktail? Or, if you don’t drink, favorite beverage? 
Mudshakes are a cocktail, right? Haha. It's like the alcoholic version of "I'm Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman".
3. Not a question, but name your top three favorite cities. 
THREE ONLY? Haha just kidding.
- Quezon City
- Manila/Pasay
- Vigan
4. What is the thing/who is/are the person/s that give you the most ~feels? 
I'll disclaim that this changes a lot, but I guess my friends give me the most feels (Haha, Mandy) because it's always reciprocated. Sure, I get to think up a lot of feels when it comes to things and celebrities but nothing compares to my friends giving their own input and exponentially increasing the original amount of feels I had anticipated to feel. 'Ja feel?
5. What’s the best part about being you? (#NAKS)
The best part about being me is my ability/curse to overthink everything. On one side I can think of a lot of ideas and good things and stuff but on the other side I can't escape this anxiety on things I've done wrong. It's my best part and I worst part. #NAKS

My questions:

1. If you were a type of cake, what would you be and why?
2. If you could change one thing about you what would it be? (Boring, I know)
3. Give the song that you've been playing on repeat for the past few days.
4. Your favorite thing about where you live right now.
5. The last thing that made you really happy. Or rather, describe the last time you felt the happiest.

D.I.Y. Debut

Finally, I can show you what I've been up to these past three months. I couldn't really talk about each of them one by one because... well, it's kind of hard to take any quality pictures when you're borrowing your DSLR camera, as a lot of my old posts might have shown you. Besides, I find it better to dump them all in one sitting, don't you? Haha.

Thanks so much to Tita Lianne from Sugarpuff Photography for the amazing pictures!

It all started with a sketchbook...

One of the things I'll miss the most about prep is writing and drawing my ideas in this journal, even if the debut shouldn't be the end of my entries. I guess this is the first time writing a journal wherein I truly didn't think about what I was writing except for the gist of it, of course. I just let the words flow~ Haha. I'm not really a journal-keeping person (says the girl who tries to maintain a blog harhar) except for all those fictional ones that I have to "script".

I can't wait to look back at this book and see what took up most of my time between August to October 2013, haha.

The Cake

Expectation, reality. Haha, but in fairness, I love how the cake came out, it complimented the party beautifully! I guess an entire ombre-on-the-inside cake is way too ambitious too anyway, but I really love the color blending. Thanks so much to the bakers from Cravings for achieving this so beautifully.

Painting everything...

From the watercolor invites... (these are the originals, I scanned them in and laid them out on Publisher so you could fold them into actual cards! I apparently fooled a lot of people into thinking I did them one by one... hahaha)

...to the poster paint menu cards (I actually had to go through several trials of this because of the changing menu, haha - but I loved food tasting and taking reference photos, although making the food look appetizing with poster paint was a liiittle challenging. Thank God we tackled the color wheel at school before this so finding and mixing colors was easier for me and with this medium then)...

...to watercolor signs and banners posted on the events page and at the candy buffet...

...to the watercolor background on the Freedom Wall, which also took several tries to perfect because the mother/"manager" had a few changes... hahaha.

I'm quite proud of the turnout of several days scattered with hard work, I can't believe it's all collected into this, haha. The whole thing really upped my appreciation for painting and watercolor, that's for sure.

The Souvenir Bag

Aside from the adorable candy buffet provided by Ate Jaz from Sweet Nest (who also did the gorgeous table set-up, backdrop, registration front, and provided creative ideas for so many things) my Mom suggested we have canvas bags for give-aways (aside from the tiny notebooks we hand-stapled and the paper of which we got from our usual supplier, Emerald, near Anonas station) and found the Rehabilitation Sheltered Workshop for the National Capital Region. We learned the bags are hand-crafted by persons with disabilities and even got a discount. They work so efficiently, we got the final bags a day after they started. Also, I sent them a preliminary study for the logo and they were able to Photoshop one for me (because I had no Photoshop at the time haha) and the two-tone print was included in the package.

Seriously, if you guys want to custom order bags or are finding a supplier to sell them, check out the RSW and their website here. You're supporting persons with disabilities as well as getting amazingly crafted quality bags and other products.

Miscellaneous Signages

Before we went to the salon Ate Jaz asked me to drop by so I could write on the black side of some illustration boards. I'm not so good at calligraphy yet so it took me a while (and a looot of erasures) before I could finish these hahaha. Luckily, I wrote a poem beforehand for the toast, but I really chickened out on saying it mostly because it was so cheesy hahaha. But oh well, both of them turned out quite nicely~

***

Like I said, I'll really miss stressing out on party preparations (even though my amount of stress is nothing compared to my parents' hahaha) and working on everything. The party passed like a dream - a four to five hour whirlwind of a dream filled with people who were hopefully happy, and things that took me by surprise, and things that hopefully went as planned, and then suddenly it's all over. Three months of hard work coming into something like this. But hey, in the words of the immortal Dr. Seuss, "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened."

I'm looking forward to being legal, and even if I do have to be careful where I tread now that was one hell of a party, and I'm so glad to have spent my first day of being legal with the people I love (even though some of them unfortunately couldn't make it) and in a way that really captured my me-ness hahaha. Even though I stressed about the party not being about "me" it was still one of the most memorable experiences I've ever had. :)

Belated Happy Halloween, everyone! :D

Renata Remedios Buendia (Meme)

Yyyep, it's been a while. Going to post my Big Art Project Party post later, but for now, have a watercolor painting I had been doing near the end of preparations, just for kicks. And also because this was one of the most beautiful parts of One Hundred Years of Solitude that I read, because gosh, that book is so poetic and lovely and heartbreaking and historical.

That night, the guard brought down Mauricio Babilonia as he was lifting up the tiles to get into the bathroom where Meme was waiting for him, naked and trembling with love among the scorpions and butterflies as she had done almost every night for the past few months. A bullet lodged in his spinal column reduced him to his bed for the rest of his life. He died of old age in solitude, without a moan, without a protest, without a single moment of betrayal, tormented by memories and by the yellow butterflies, who did not give him a moment's piece...

- One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez

***

Some details...

I'm really proud of how her skin came out. I admit I'm not an explorer when it comes to colors, because I'm uncertain of how things will come out in the end most often; but I can only describe how the leftover yellow in one of my brushes came out on her skin as a "happy accident" because I turned out really well.

I just regret the butterflies a little. I could've made them more intricate if I'd worked harder, but oh well. The random effect came out quite well.

I'm quite proud of how it all came out hehe. Here's to hoping I'll develop my watercolor skillz even more :)

Antiquated

Took a trip down memory lane again when my parents and I visited my great grandparents' house in Roxas where my aunt and her husband are staying now.

I haven't been here in forever. It's pretty cool/strange how we become so acquainted to something that we take it for granted, then the next time we interact with it after a long time it feels so foreign, but familiar.

That wooden Igorot statue at the top of the stairs used to look so much scarier, so much taller. Now it's about four to five feet flat, I realize, still carrying the head of his fallen enemy, maybe not so sinister after all.

I find it funny how I hold so much more fascination now than I did all those times we came by when we were little. I look at all the antiques in wonder when before they were just furniture. I guess it was only now that they counted as remnants of the past to me.

Notice how I'm avoiding using the word "nostalgia". Would you count that when most of the memories I'd made here were... detached? I don't want to be so cold, but that's honestly how I see it.

The house wasn't lit up by anything other than the sunlight. It was nice, but I couldn't help but think of Bob Ong's Mga Kaibigan Ni Mama Susan whenever I looked at the religious figures mingling with wooden models of the Igorot. Also, their kitchen was really dark. I had to muster up enough courage to pass through that place.

I really did want to take a lot of that stuff home even if I knew there wouldn't be any room. I don't know; it's been a long time I've seen a house with so much history interwoven in the peeling lumber. The smell of age wafted through the air like a giant turtle and was oddly very comforting.

My great grandparents have passed now, my great grandfather going first. It's too bad I couldn't really "appreciate" them when I had the chance. All I have to remember them by is the childlike wonder I went through earlier today. Also, I wish I had a better camera to capture all of this. I wasn't even planning on taking any pictures until we got a look at the place.

It feels exactly like finishing a book when you're a kid and coming back to it about ten years later. You remember so many things but it all feels so new.

/end throwback-slash-reflection post

***

Life Updates:

Yes, I know, I've been a bad blogger. I can't even blame College now that it's sem break but apart from a lot of debut-related ups and downs and one trip to Pampanga and Tarlac with my mates from the Philippine Collegian nothing's been too eventful. I promise I'll blog/vlog after all of this blows over - I have a lot of stories to share, after all.

A-d-v-e-n-t-u-r-e

I'd say this past week had more adventure in it than any other week in my life. Let's see...

TUESDAY

I don't remember what happened prior, but after class I had my dress fitting for the debut and Dad and I had to drive to Shaw to wait for Mom, only to drive back to Cubao because she was taking so long. I think we ate at The Sweet Spot, Maginhawa right after this. A+, will recommend.

WEDNESDAY

Had my first Sec Meet after school. I don't really remember much before that.

THURSDAY

Planned on joining an Alternative Classroom Learning Experience (is that right?) or ACLE, ended up having A Talk with some of my blockmates instead while waiting for 3 o' clock to come. When Ilsa came back to tell us the slots for her desired ACLE had run out we decided to go to Educ instead. It was in my choices to go anyway, and we heard Joyce Pring was there (she was. We went with Rocky, who is mine and Ilsa's "child", and he proceeded to freak out the entire time we lined up to take pictures and have our things signed). Then I asked if we could go to Palma Hall to see if any of the other ACLEs were still open. Sadly, Chico and Gino's panel had wrapped up, and there were too many people to let us in anymore. We were able to catch up at the Komiko 3-in-1, and after a lot of confusion as to whether I would still attend, we sat in anyway, but not for long as the talk wrapped up as soon as Ilsa and I found seats (Rocky stayed outside). We met with Sirs Jesie Castro, Jess Abrera and Manix Abrera for the photo op and they signed our stuff, too. They're extremely nice. We hung out at the CASAA for a while after that until we all parted ways and I had to attend my first Gen Meet reviewing an issue.

FRIDAY

Since our FA14 Prof, Sir DJ, had a talk at MC (lol) and gave us a free cut, we planned on going to Sinangag Express in Katipunan for Lunch, but it slowly escalated to a trip to UST thanks to another blockmate, Melody. It was the first time I've ever ridden a jeep that far, and also the LRT. We chased after Ramon Bautista in the carpark and bought art materials. It was really exhausting, and I got to cool down back at school waiting for Farah to finish PE and at the AvCom (org) meeting. My parents ate at Gayuma ni Maria in Maginhawa after that. It would have been not-weird but the looming presence of sex toys and phallic cookies being dangerously near my conservative (and highly critical?) parents made me worry. The food was amazing, though!

SATURDAY

I couldn't do presswork early because we had food tasting at Cravings. I became obsessed with the risotto balls they were serving as appetizers but I didn't want to look like a greedy person. I ended up eating like 5. LOL. The food was good, but there's another food tasting and I really hope I'll get to try their other choices. I'm also really glad that plans are moving along smoothly - our organizer Miss Macris said there was still a possibility for me to get the gold tiffany chairs my mom wanted. After that, we heard Mass in Eastwood and I attended Nadine's Debut. I was pretty pooped by that time - thanks mostly to late nights at my grandparents' house using their 24-hour Wifi. I'm not used to being a night owl. But it was really fun seeing all my friends again after a long, long time.

SUNDAY

Had presswork at Vinzons. I'm so glad my comic was approved from the first study, even though it wasn't funny. I was initially scared about making comics because I knew I probably wouldn't be able to deliver any good jokes on queue. When I asked Kira (who's supposed to have a "shallow sense of humor") she agreed it was more of a commentary than a comedy, and she asked Kuya Victor (the asst. editor, who is one of the most comprehensive [lol sorry] critics there) if it was funny, to which he replied, "...Meh. It grows on you." HUHU. Oh well. It wasn't a bad start for my first Kule comic. Also, Ate Ysa, my editor, told me to download Photoshop CS6 since my old Photoshop Portable wouldn't open anymore - it's absolutely magical. I've missed using Photoshop. I hated being crippled by it for a while and having to tell people I couldn't do this or that because "Photoshop was broken" and I had a fear of downloading trials since they expire (lol) - especially during the Gen Meet, where I traditional'd all of the works that were assigned to me for the issue, and I got complaints of messy execution. I really hate not being able to deliver. Anyway, during lunch I took an IKOT and walked all the way to Burger Project, Maginhawa because I was in the mood for burgers. Mm, burgers. And independence.

The lines are beginning to blur between the days now that I'm getting used to sleeping at 12 AM minimum. My energy levels (naks) haven't been going up to "ecstatic" because I can't really say I've been recharging. It's like I'm a phone that I have no time to recharge, and the power perpetually stays in the middle. Whoo. College!

OFF.

That's the way I can describe this week. My closest blockmate Ilsa has described me as such for the past few days and, I have to admit, I've been seeing it. I know I seriously have not posted nearly enough for my readers - unless you know me and are aware of my situation in real life - to understand what I am about to say, but I hope you guys still get a little out of it.

I was so out of it today, and for the past week perhaps owing to the fact that I'm running much lower on sleep than I was used to in High School. I slept in school yesterday and today, both in the CFA, and spent sixteen hours in campus yesterday.

There was an overall feeling of "whatever" these past few days. I haven't interacted with my friends and blockmates the way I wish I could (naks, standards), and reciting in Eng10 today was just so... weird. I kept tripping all over my words in both situations and all of my thoughts came out in word diarrhea. One thing I want to keep an eye on is precise communication, because I've been deprived of that particular ability in the past. People won't wait for you to apologize for what you said and explain it all of it one by one. They'll comprehend it in a certain way so it's your job to formulate how you're going to say any of it.

The thing I'm most afraid of is hurting someone, physically or emotionally, because I haven't been watching my words and actions and general disposition because of my exhaustion. Yes, I'm terrible for blaming these things on something so trivial to my blockmates by this time, something they've been so accustomed to that they are able to complete beautiful plates with or without sleep, but aside from my period (TMI) that's the closest thing I could attribute it to.

Also, busy-ness. I've been avoiding blaming not replying to everyone on the Internet as soon as I can, not being able to get to my personal projects, not being able to just socialize on being busy. It's so easy to blame your mistakes on other things, isn't it?

It's so easy for people to tell us to take a break every now and then. It's so easy for them to tell us to manage our time - that I realize now. It's so easy to assess a situation based only on what you know. There are so many factors that contribute to a person making certain choices, whether or not they look good to you and at the end of the day you don't actually have the best say in what they should do. Hayz. Lesson: don't automatically assume you're reserved to a right to tell someone what to do. Plain and simple.

Speaking of people telling you what to do, I wish my schedule would become more flexible... transpo-wise. I'm a little ashamed of the fact that I have to be chauffeured every day because most of my blockmates are already so independent and have learned how to commute outside of school. It's not that I'm in a rush to be independent or whatever, it's not that I feel strangled or rebellious or any of that teenage bullsh*t adults try to rub on me, it's just that things would be so much easier had I not be required to think about other people when I want/have to stay late at school. Having to stay late at school makes me out to be insensitive to the people who have to usher me back and forth; but wanting to take transportation makes me naive, stupid, ungrateful that I have people who drive at my own beck and call. I can't win, and it frustrates me.

Thinking about all of this makes me realize how much of myself I made, and how much of myself is actually me, naturally raised up by others and uninfluenced by the society I perceive. Huwaw. Existential crisis ang peg.

I'm sorry, again, if all this sounds incomprehensible to you guys. I sure hope this feeling goes away by the end of next week and I get back on the right track. Wish me luck.

***

In other news, debut planning has been going well so far. I finished stapling just under 150 notebooks for souvenirs and drawing for the events page and invitations, feats I'm extremely proud of as a DIY-er. Food tasting will be on Wednesday. I really am excited. :)

Do It Yourself Debut

School takes a heavy toll on the relationship between a girl and her blog, but I stopped by regardless of an English paper due this Friday and a paralyzing clogged-nose-and-almost-fever combination to let you in on my plans for the next... three months? Haha.

I've never really given my 18th birthday much of a thought. I'm not the kind of girl who wants to feel like a Princess one day by asking eighteen of her friends to talk about her and dance with her (probably mostly because I don't have enough guy friends?), so I spent about two weeks in conflict about whether I still wanted to hold a debut or not. I do want to hold a party, but what would people be doing for, I don't know, approximately 5 hours?

A couple of days ago I had the idea of holding an Open Mic party just so I would have something to fill in the time. I kind of hate how I didn't think of it earlier, because I know three months before my party isn't the best time to start planning. I don't even have a venue yet, as of now.

Another thing I've decided on is to go all-out Martha Stewart on this thing. Yes, I'm planning on D.I.Y.ing my debut - undoubtedly my biggest, scariest project to date, because as much as I like going to parties, I'm not the kind who's had a lot of experience.

I'm taking pegs from places like MarthaStewart.com, Pinterest, and one of my crafting idols Lorra Elena Angbue-Te Or. However, a lot of the D.I.Y.s here are central to weddings and kiddie parties. The debut, after all, is a Filipino tradition - I admit I had, and am having, a hard time looking for nice inspirations for a non-traditional debut, since I've only attended less than ten so far and a lot of them only involve the whole shebang.

I came up with a "hard copy" Pinterest, an extra black-bound blank book from school to document my journey... I might be able to post some pictures here, if I have time. Hopefully, I will have the time. Hehe.

Wish me luck. :)

In other news, WE HAVE A NEW BUNK BED. HOO HAH!

For Interested Parties: Canlaon College

Canlaon College is a fiction and art anthology about Philippine mythological creatures based in a High School to College setting. Please keep in mind that submissions are primarily done for free. Whether or not you're a first-time author or illustrator doesn't matter: anyone is welcome to submit. :)

Submission Requirements:

1. Must revolve around the theme of Philippine mythological creatures in a High School or College setting.
2. Can be in English or Filipino.
3. Can be in fiction, comic, or artwork format.
4. Must be original (of course).
5. Must not be previously published.
6. Created by someone of Filipino nationality/ethnicity.
7. Only one submission per person. Should the work not be considered for inclusion to the anthology, rights to publish or enter the story in a contest unrelated to this specific anthology will be given back to the creator.
8. Preferably targeted to a teenage/young adult audience.

Not-Requirements:

1. Does not have to occur specifically in school, as long as it focuses on that certain theme or age.
2. 500-7000 words in fiction, only preferably.
3. Art will be published in grayscale.
4. There is no maximum for comics, but preferably they should not exceed 20 pages (excluding the cover). Any submission that exceeds 20 pages should be justified solely by the plot.
5. Avoid fancy formatting if you are to submit fiction. Entries will be standardized according to our own format eventually.

Editor's Notes:

1. Please include your real name in the submission e-mail. Pseudonyms will be discussed once your submission is considered for publication.
2. When your work is considered for publication, we will require you to submit a short bio, with or without publishing history.

How to Submit:

1. Join the Canlaon College group on Facebook so you can participate in discussion and/or consultation.
2. E-mail your entries to canlaoncollege@gmail.com with your real name.
3. Submissions may be done in the following formats: .doc, .txt, .zip, .jpeg, .png, .rtf
4. Deadline for submissions is on Jan. 1, 2014.

SETTING DETAILS/INSPIRATION

1. No specific school is designated to be the setting for "Canlaon College".
2. Stereotypes/cliques per species is designated as follows (no need to follow, but recommended to at least exemplify):

• ASWANG/MANANANGGAL
• The self-appointed rulers of the school - confident, reassured people by day who are, well, beasts once night drops. Female aswang are to be dated with caution, as they are known to be man-eaters - literally, and, more usually, figuratively. Their carnivorous streaks are toned down now that they have to lie low in their schools, but they still retain a fierceness that doesn't require any bloodshed. Usually.
• TIKBALANG
• Jocks who enjoy flaunting their fitness just because it's in their blood. They're the students who, despite the hectic demands of academic life, never seem to run out of horsepower. Ahem.
• DIWATA/ENGKANTO
• The students who just can't help but exuberate their own brand of fash-own on campus. You could dismiss them as free-spirited hipsters, but when it comes to environmental activism, they're so much more than the average dreamcatcher-toting, Instagram-using, trendsetting teenager.
• KAPRE
• "Stoners"/activists/sometimes slacktivists, only rarely seen without a cigarette or, in some cases, a cigar between their teeth. They might seem lazy and uncouth at first glance, but one should learn never to judge a Kapre sumply by their laidback appearances.
• SIYOKOY/SIRENA
• Like the Diwata and Engkanto, the sea-dwellers can't help but feel protective of their home and will most likely be spotted at the next "Save the Dolphins" wall-painting session. However, they also can't help being inevitable scene-stealers and will most likely sing, dance, act and dramatize their way into conviction, no matter how over the top it looks.
• NUNO SA PUNSO
• The Nuno, by today's standards, may be quite awkward and nerdy, but there's no way they're going to go down from a bullying without a fight. Nuno are still the smiths of pranks and practical jokes, benevolent and otherwise, and one would be smart to pay a little respect to the descendants of the very first hill-dwelling people.

Mythological creatures not mentioned above can be written about in any way you wish.

Carraway

And suddenly it begins to show: the naked truth revealing itself from a billowing cloud of silken white smoke. A web of people and circumstances all connected with strings no thicker than a hair, or a sliver of moonlight, dew drops huge and heavy on their lengths and the wind a gushing force threatening to tear it all apart.

I realize that I, once again, am on the outside, looking in.

on the road

There's a certain comfort in being in a station wagon along the highway while rain batters the windshield at a million miles an hour.

There's a certain comfort in looking outside and seeing a view much better than my crappy camera could ever capture, as lightning cuts through the sky in its electric whiteness, faster than I could ever catch.

There's a certain comfort in looking out the window at 9 in the evening and seeing a hundred lights, a hundred lives, a hundred stories that we blink past every hour.

There's a certain comfort in the way your friends text you from Quezon City as you ride on the NLEX, as if they were sitting right beside you on a long, lonely ride.

There's a certain comfort in heading to your childhood province six hours away from where you live now, realizing you're living your childhood construction of "safe" - that is, buried in a blanket in a snug old car.

There's a certain comfort in waking up to something like this.

Happy Independence Day, everyone.

Here Comes College

Fifteen hours before College and I'm feeling a bit indifferent - the actual worst thing I could possibly feel, I guess?

It just doesn't feel like I'm going to school tomorrow. I'll come into my first subject at 8:30 and find new people, but I don't know if I'll feel any different about staying there the next few weeks, because this was a hell of a long Summer for me. Maybe it's the fact that I have no books, or uniform, or the fact that I feel like I'm missing out on a lot of official stuff to fix thanks, mostly, to my absolute cluelessness and naivety.

It's not that I hate these brand new school vibes and fear that I'll lose Summer. If anything I'm glad that I'm going to College (har har) and I'm glad for the new lifestyle change, because I sure will be more productive in school than I was when I didn't have it. That's why I worry about not feeling much, because, surely, I should be feeling at least excitement (not as much as I should be, but I feel it a little) or nervousness or fear or joy? But mostly I feel nothing at all.

More on this as the story develops.

A Mondrian Look Back

It's four days before school, and I feel like I have to 'fess up: my Summer wasn't as exciting as I cut it out to be. Heheheh. The above outfit was something I wore yesterday (owing thanks to my Tita who just came from the States for the top).

Let's recap: all I've done these past three months is go out with friends, sometimes attend some events, eat out with the family, get glasses, practice driving, and sit on my butt almost every day drawing, watching movies, and catching up on Hannibal.

I'm a little frustrated about being "too lazy" to update the blog - my sister laughed at me once, telling me it takes dedication to run a blog every day. And even though I never planned on updating every day I still feel - no, know that I'm missing out on updating, writing, working as much as I should.

Looking back, I can conclude that I can't be half-assed to make my own adventures sometimes; and if I do, I don't even have the initiative to blog about them.

This isn't supposed to be as emo a post as it sounds, haha. 

Here's to hoping that the time I actually have piles of work on my desk to be done, more friends around me, and a new home to fit into for the next four years, I will be able to update this blog and have more adventures worthy of documentation. I know I'm crossing my fingers, but I'm not hoping too much. Hihi.

on being a nobody

by patricia ramos

you're a shadow, a mirage
a spatter of matter in a scatter of existence
nobody really knew your real name
but you knew it was "nobody"

who are you?
what are you?
your height, your weight, the flesh on your face?
the mistakes you made and the achievements you made up
how you used to wear these kinds of clothes and then decided to stop?
and spouted all these lies just to show what you've got
that that was you
and yet it was not

that was 11 years of not knowing who you really were
11 years of knocking on doors of association
pretending you fit in
and forcing the puzzle pieces to fit
even though they did they never worked out on the bigger picture
but you didn't mind as long as you had someone to sit with at lunch

did it not feel strange the first time you gazed on that list
and marveled at how a few names could spell out "home" for you?

three hundred-odd days of a different feeling
wherein people you've never seen before know you by your name now
and they say "i know you from this"
"i think you're cool"
"i'm glad that i'm your friend"

and it felt good to be important and missed
and it felt good to make a lot of friends
and it felt good to tear down the bricks
of the wall you had been building for yourself for
such
a long
time

who knew i had it in me all along?

Team Effort (and the importance thereof)

Yesterday I popped over to Motzie's house to - finally - work on the Project Bayani 2nd issue pages that have remained stagnant since a month ago. 

I decided to ask her if I could come over around Wednesday all of a sudden because nothing was happening. Like, literally. I was, to be honest, unconsciously putting off work because 1) I have so many ideas and other projects piling up, even though school hasn't started haha, and 2) I am lazy as hell. I thought it would do me good if my co-creator was physically there to attend to me, thereby forcing me to do as much work as I can. I allotted seven hours - 11 to 5. Despite a couple of transpo problems I made it to her house.

As you can see from the ecstatic Instagram "live feeds" I'd been posting, progress was amazing. I finished inking all of the pages (without black masks) in the span of 5 hours, as we went to Moonleaf after and had time to spare to erase my pencils.

Did I mention that it just so happened to be Project Bayani's first birthday, coincidentally? We'd only found out when I looked at our Copyright Certificate again.

Conclusion: pressure is, indeed, very helpful. It stemmed from the way that writing circles and running clinics (one of which I've attended, heh) stimulates one greatly to get what they want done - it's the idea that people actually, physically bank on you to finish something, and it's kind of the best feeling ever to accomplish something after.

I thank Motzie because if it hadn't been for her, I definitely would not have finished these on my own. Yes, I'm that lazy haha. On to wrapping up inking, then it's post-prod by scanning and Photoshopping. Wish me luck. :P

Life Updates, Post-deluge

Last night my aunt and sister and I went to the Ultra arena to run. My sister and I started going for a Running Clinic a few weeks ago. We were particularly worried last night because it had been raining to the point that we didn't know if we were going on with it.

When we went down to the Oval the drizzle wasn't very strong yet. It was only when we started warming up under the roof that the torrent fell. Anyway, I said "screw it" to accidentally not bringing any extra clothes and ran with my tita and sister in the rain. It was great because the rain wouldn't stop and lightning tore up the sky overhead. It felt really intense, running with nothing but the sound of that and rainwater splashing under your feet and a couple of other people at the Oval, even though it might have not been that intense, really. Given the open skyline view from the Oval I've never really experienced anything so... Goldy-wrathful. Haha. Something to really see to believe.

I also saw Jam there. I haven't seen anyone from school since I saw Mia at Serendra the day before.

***

LIFE UPDATES

1. Not many. I'm aware I haven't been updating aside from a couple of vlogs and a bunch of Twitter floods, and for that I apologize. Again, summer isn't actually as eventful as everyone makes it out to be.
2. Last week I enrolled and we had our Freshman Orientation. Yeah. The UP vibes are kicking in, finally. It's all so strange to think that I'm not going back to my Alma Mater for 13 years this school year - my schoolmates have realized that as soon as Graduation wrapped up, but it hasn't been as... um... sudden for me. Anyway. More on that later.

Yeah well, that's pretty much it. Nothing but see you next time. :)

Absolutely Spectacular

I may or may not have started a video blog.

The Man and the Monster

I apologize sincerely for not being able to post as often as I promised. :( Life gets in the way, and this isn't cutting out to be the hip, adventurous Summer I was planning it to be. Haha. Expectations > Reality, as always.

One good thing about this Summer, however, is being able to indulge in all my ideas. I've been drawing like crazy, especially since I've restarted on Issue 2 as a clean slate (yes... hehe).

Anyway, one of the ideas I thought of expanding was the Manobo version of Beauty and the Beast from my Filipino Fairy Tale series. I love Manobo clothing and aesthetics and no matter how tedious the textiles might seem (are), it's really rewarding.

You know what else is tedious and rewarding? Freaking crocodile scales.

Habang lumipas ang mga taon, lalo siyang nawalan ng pag-asa. Sino naman ang matututunang magmahal ng isang halimaw?

I was especially inspired by Claire Hummel's Historical Princess series in this one. Dat style.

I'm sorry I have so many words for just one picture, I spent almost a day working on this, alright?

Also, here are some detail shots, because I worked hard on these, dammit!!!

No Gas

Guess who went to her first day of driving school today?

(Continuing the OOTD entries I started here, except time won't let me take pictures of all of my outfits every day if I watercolored them. Oh well. Thanks to Stumpy Brush for contributing to 90% how good this one turned out! Haha.)

Fortunately, with a couple more days of going out planned in the coming days, I'll be able to document my OOTDs more often! :)

14 Four Cafe

Photos by Lianne Bacorro, unless otherwise stated.

The day before Grad, my Tita invited me and my sister to a restaurant somewhere in Taytay. She described it as "artsy" and I wasn't disappointed when I saw it.

Post-Grad Thoughts

Things I'm grateful for from High School:

1. Meeting all these amazing people who I definitely hope to keep in touch with in the years to come. That includes fellow students, teachers, staff, and everyone I was introduced to within the hallowed halls of my Alma Mater.
2. Being able to read most (if not, fully, all... hehehe) of our assigned readings for both English and Filipino. If it weren't for these subjects, I definitely wouldn't have been half-assed to become as exposed to all kinds of literature available to me.
3. Growth. Not so much physically as emotionally and maturely, that's for sure. Whenever I look back at Grade School, it's mostly composed of bad or embarrassing memories. But now, reminiscing about the past four years of my life, it wasn't so bad in that place after all. For being there all those terrible, pre- and pubescent years, I thank my school.

It's been almost a week since grad as I type this (it's 8 PM on a Saturday night [editing this 9 AM on Easter Morning]), and you might wonder why now, of all times, I'm bothered to actually do this. I do too. As I wait in the backseat of my parents' car, patiently waiting to go home. I apologize for not being able to post as much as I could've earlier.

I still vehemently abhor the generalization that "High School makes up the best four years of your life." Because, paraphrasing Hank Green from memory, if they are the best four years of your life, you must be having a really bad life so far. Who are you, Tom Buchanan?

Don't get me wrong: as much as I like High School, it always, always gets better after.

Dear Miriam College High School. Our batch president said it the best, but I'm gonna say it again:

1. Thank you for the wisdom, the joy, the helping hand, the memories.
2. I'm sorry for disappointing myself and making you the cause. I'm sorry I let you get in the way of being all I can be.
3. I love you.

Happy Easter, folks!

UPCYCLE CHALLENGE: The School Skirt

Hey hey hey, it's Grad season again. (Maybe I shouldn't say "again". It is, after all, my first and last time graduating High School.)

Now, here in the Philippines, a lot of High Schools require uniforms, whether private or not. Just recently my schoolmates found a very interesting piece of Topshop clothing that looks exactly like our uniform's skirt. This got me to thinking: so we aren't very far from being fashown, after all.

My friends/batchmates Corinne and Riva thought about modifying our own school uniforms so that they could be more wearable in public and less harmful to space in our house and the environment. I (used to) have at least four in my closet - one for each weekday, plus a couple of spares from previous years. The material, to be quite honest, is pretty hot and heavy (excuse my language) and isn't your usual casual, go-to kind of cloth. More on that in another post.

This post, however, is about promoting a project - something of a collaboration by girls who DIY not only from our school but from other schools as well.

According to Wikipedia,

Upcycling is the process of converting waste materials or useless products into new materials or products of better quality or for better environmental value.

My first ever Upcycle Challenge focuses on, as you might've deduced from before, school skirts and how versatile they can actually be. Make your school proud and flaunt just how resourceful and creative people from your alma mater come from!

Here's the poster I came up with:

I'm itching to see not only my batchmates' entries but also anyone else who'd like to take up the challenge.

If you want to join this Upcycle Challenge, comment with a link to your blog/Instagram/tweet/etc. post and I'll include it in my UC:TSS master post some time in April, when I'll expect a couple of entries already up. :)

P.S. I'm probably going to keep just one uniform intact, for posterity's sake. Hihi.