Emerging from the one year hiatus

Wow, naka-isang taon na pala akong hindi nagsusulat sa blog na 'to. Grabe. And to think so much has happened since then. :)) I've been spending a lot more time on Facebook and Twitter, and Tumblr and Behance for my art stuff, and I apologize to this blog especially for just leaving it in the mud like this.

Updates I've decided were worth the mention, in bullet points because I'm like that:

TD#1: Hashtag Lessons

Iniimagine ko ngayon palang sarili ko 'pag naging ganap na Art Teacher na po ako. Kung hindi man High School, Grade School nalang. #teacherdreams na ang tag ko sa mga musings na 'to.

Ipapakita ko sa kanila mga artworks na babae ang subject. Mga fertility idols at woman statues ng mga iba't ibang ancient civilizations, mga representations ng Devi ng Hindu at ng babaeng Bodhisattva ng Budismo, si Venus ni Botticelli at si Urduja ni Amorsolo, pati si Hilda ni Duane Bryers at maski lahat ng Disney Princess concept art. 

Sasabihin ko, "Kitams? Ganda nilang lahat, 'no? Kapag wala yung mga text na nagsasabing, tignan mo si Pocahontas o Tiana, gumamit ng glutathione para pumuti; tignan mo si Hilda o si Venus, dati hindi maganda dahil 'di sila payat kaya nagpa-Marie Claire; tignan mo 'tong mga fertility idols na lawlaw ang boobs kaya nagpa-Belo... kapag wala 'yan, nakikita mo kung gaano talaga sila ka-perpekto, ka-epitome ng 'feminine beauty' nung panahon nila. Pero anyare? Biglang overweight at unhealthy na, masyadong payat at biglang anorexic o bulimic agad, biglang masyadong maitim, masyadong maputi, masyadong nerdy, 'di gaano ka adorkable. Sasabihin na kulang ka ng something pero kapag meron ka na wala ang iba mas bibigyang diin parin ang kulang. Pakinggan niyo lang yung UDD song na 'Kulang' din ang pamagat. Nakikinig pa ba kayo sa UDD?"

Tapos yung activity, kunwari ikaw yung gumawa ng artwork tapos ipopost mo sa Facebook, Instagram, Tumblr, whatever. Ano yung mga hashtag na ilalagay mo? Bakit? Wala lang. Haha joke. Ano ang kwentong gustong sabihin ng hashtag mo versus ang dating ng gawa mo sa iba? Ano ang kwento ng mga katawan versus ang mga kwento na pinapatong dito ng iba?

Malay ko ba kung ano yung lesson na tinatalakay ko rito. Aesthetics? Classical art? Self-perception? Ay, basta. Huwag niyo munang i-abolish ang art program habang 'di pa ako grumagradweyt. Hehe.

Another pointless post on DotA: Nakakabaliw

I wrote this all on my tablet and kind of free-thought everything with minimal editing. My apologies.

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The proudly Philippine quality of taking things way too seriously manifests itself once again with the buzz surrounding new film DotA: Nakakabaliw. Being someone who has never played the Valve game Defense of the Ancients - which has become a hit among the Filipino youth whatever their social status is as long as they have access to a computer - perhaps I never know what it feels to have something you truly love massacred, and your image as a DotA-playing Filipino teenager stuffed with straw and caricatured negatively for the consumption of the same masses who are in part to thank for putting DotA on its current pedestal in our culture.

DotA, after all, has been revolutionary in connecting and bringing together people from across the board. It's so much more than just a video game - just watch Valve's own produced documentary, Free to Play, to see just how big it gets, beyond what conservative adults perceive as "wasting time" on the computer. The spawning of new terms such as "GG", "rak na itu", or "imba" in the local lexicon almost in the same cultural effect as bekinese (gay lingo) or jejenese, owes itself to DotA.

Hence, it comes as no surprise that the watered-down, less-than-impressive version of a "testament" to the DotA movement, paired with an amateurish poster and a cringe-worthy trailer, has brought so much backlash from fans not just of DotA, but also of "decent Philippine films".

Am I coming into defense of everything that DotA:Nakakabaliw is and the message stands for - the gasgas or overused "lesson" that video games make our poor, easily influenced children go mad, violently kill each other, and eat stolen bananas without taking off the peel (seriously, that was in the movie), therefore we should ban video games in the name of our most Holy, computer-hating Lord? Heck, naw. 

I'm just saying, maybe, maybe this'll sound a little crazy, but bear with me: maybe Filipinos shouldn't take things so seriously.

Marguerite de Leon tackles the Filipino inability to recognize satire in her Rappler article (http://www.rappler.com/move-ph/ispeak/43040-filipinos-satire-jinggoy), linking it to the lack of critical thinking bestowed upon us as a people. Only the educated can distinguish such "deep jokes" from the truth. I won't argue with her, mainly because I don't have a more concrete explanation for this, but I will tell you, as a nation of supposedly "happy" people, it's quite saddening to know that Pinoys can't tell a joke when it comes to hit them across the head with a keyboard (yes, that happens in the movies as well).

Instead, what I get from sharing things like the poster to DotA: Nakakabaliw, or, say, a poorly made fancast of someone's favorite anime with the industry's most "in-demand" but highly inappropriate actors for the role, are flaming comments of disapproval, of anger, of all-caps and gratuitous punctuation. Sigh. If only people felt the same way about those who are running this country into the gutter.

If you also think that I'm here to promote the movie, you are mistaken. In fact, I advise you to not support this movie. Do not watch it in theaters. Whatever you do, do not pay for this film. For the sake of this country, do not encourage this film at all.

But I'm not saying you shouldn't watch it, either. "Huh? But how will we not support it and at the same time not watch it?" Well, use your coconut. Wait for the pirated release. Watch it. Laugh. Cry - a lot. I know I will, when I watch it.

"But if you don't want us to encourage this film, why are you writing this sad excuse for a blog post?"

Let's just say I'm a connoisseur of so-bad-it's-good things - hello, trying hard but still terrible commercials; hello, "localized" posters we see in newspapers attempting to entice the Filipino into watching these lesser-known films with lame graphics and long, tiring, unnecessary explanations; and hello, Hotel Sogo's new campaign and like page (don't get me wrong, I really do love you, Hotel Sogo). 

Learn how to take things the way some people eat their pineapples - with a grain of salt. Learn how to appreciate something so ugly that it becomes beautiful. Learn to take your hands away from your eyes for a while, and just laugh. Learn from other peoples' mistakes. Learn the phrase "It's so bad, it's good".

And, cinema enthusiasts, heard of the films "The Room", "Birdemic", or "Sharknado"? Before you poop your pants with rage at the trench-deep plunge Filipino cinema has taken, see what America has done, see the lesser abominations it has brought the world, and maybe you can appreciate too the local, beautiful, terrible cringe fest that is proudly our own.

Saddened as I was that rising talents like Joyce Ching had to be exploited for this film to take off, I was also kind of grateful. No, I wasn't grateful that a film like this was allowed to have a nationwide commercial release when films like "Grand Budapest Hotel", and some of our local greats like "Norte" or "Thy Womb" enjoy or enjoyed limited screenings.

I was grateful that indeed, something "so bad, it's good" was made. Finally! Here is the Category 5 Kaiju of bad films! The current unbeatable champion of bad films! The feature length equivalent of Hotel Sogo's new promotion campaign (I love you, Hotel Sogo) and gross, Colonial Mentality promoting whitening soaps! It's finally, thankfully here, and I am so darn happy!

DotA: Nakakabaliw is something that probably scraped the very bottom of the barrel for Filipinos everywhere, yes, especially you DotA fans, that they finally realize what it is to be "naaasar" (pissed off), to be insulted, to demand for something they deserve. It might seem like a far cry from something truly nationally relevant, but hey, it's a start. After all, it only takes something truly bad, truly terrible, for us to know what "good" really means, and at we still are aware of what quality means.

Did I have a point with all of this? Probably not. Perhaps, what I wanted to say, after so many words, is that I'm totally pushing through with that free DotA: Nakakabaliw viewing party, once the film comes out on Youtube, or torrent, or "dibidi-dibidi".

Her.

(not about the spike jonze film.)

You were the one who told me that we were the fighting kind.
You were the one who urged me to never back down.
You were the one who told me the women in our family are strong.

Whatever happened to that lady, now afraid to leave a life of comfort and monotony for a life of freedom?
Whatever happened to the woman who is now afraid to question, to go against, to stand up for what she believes beyond of what happens within the four walls of this house?
Who now believes that none of us can truly be equal?
Who now wants me to "accept" everything that is given me without so much as a sound?

You who stuffed my bones with bravery so they wouldn't buckle when someone tries to break them.
You were the one who drained my body of cowardice so I would never have to feel it again.
You were the one who lit my veins up with the fire of the fight.
What happened to you?
You were so full of feist, and now still need the reassurance of witnessing in order to wake up and smell the smoke. The fire is all around you; it crackles at your feet and in the black of your eyes (so dark, so burned) that I cannot do anything to stop it.
But the only person who cannot feel it is you.

I want to shake you, I want to light you up.
I want to give you a piece of my mind.
I want to scream at you so that your ears would light up like a fuse
To rattle the bones made brittle by years of labor done for love.
Sometimes the way you snap back makes me think the spark has found its way
But sometimes the way they ravage my insides with the flame makes me feel other than what I want to feel

Still, I keep on
Wishing that maybe every word I let go becomes kindling
And you burn on
Greedy and hot and ruthless
And I catch fire
And it surges in my nerves
Careless and hungry and bright
And so we battle on that way
Because the best way to fight a fire
Is to light a fire.

Resolution 2014

It's nine days late, and nothing's new, but I'm pretty determined on changing the way I create this year. For example:

1. Less free art because of "boredom", more fair trade in terms of art. I make you something, either you pay me for it or make something for me as well. It helps both of us practice if the latter, yes? (And me for the former, for when I have to price my art in the future... whew.) :)
2. I hope I'll want to be able to make at least one work of art that isn't school or Collegian-related every week. From sketches and doodles to full-blown paintings, traditional or otherwise, I don't really care, as long as I don't confine myself to work that I have to admit sometimes take the heart out of the art when I don't feel like doing it but I have to. That's life, and I intend to break out of it as best as I can.
3. I want to try new things and revive the old. I've never bound a book before. It's been so, so long since I last used polymer clay or made jewelry. I've never used oil paints (successfully, that is). Hopefully the learning experiences I'll be able to put off until I have the opportunity to learn them in school, or when I have the time and can learn them myself should it not be done in school. In the meantime, I'll try my best to come back to the projects I left hanging; who knows, maybe I can apply what I've learned, and make them better. Probably.

That's pretty much it. Like I said in my previous blog post, here's another year of wanting to be the very best (artist), like no one ever was. Well. Maybe not that last part. There were/are tons of 'em, after all. I just want to focus on being a great me.

'Til next time!

Hello, 2014.

Albeit a belated one. Heh.

I left 2013 a more creative, more "Filipino", and (hopefully) more mature individual. Here's to the year that lies ahead of us - may it bring more joy to savor, more spirit to live, more challenges to overcome, more creation to create. And may I be blessed with the resilience to update this blog as much as I'd like to. :P

Tag Post*

*for lack of a better title. Tagged by Mandy Cruz.

rule 1: always post the rules
rule 2: answer the questions the person who tagged you asked and write your questions
rule 3: tag 11 people and link them to the post
rule 4: actually tell the people you tagged that you tagged them

1. Did you like the last movie you saw? 
Thor 2? Hell yeah.
2. Favorite cocktail? Or, if you don’t drink, favorite beverage? 
Mudshakes are a cocktail, right? Haha. It's like the alcoholic version of "I'm Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman".
3. Not a question, but name your top three favorite cities. 
THREE ONLY? Haha just kidding.
- Quezon City
- Manila/Pasay
- Vigan
4. What is the thing/who is/are the person/s that give you the most ~feels? 
I'll disclaim that this changes a lot, but I guess my friends give me the most feels (Haha, Mandy) because it's always reciprocated. Sure, I get to think up a lot of feels when it comes to things and celebrities but nothing compares to my friends giving their own input and exponentially increasing the original amount of feels I had anticipated to feel. 'Ja feel?
5. What’s the best part about being you? (#NAKS)
The best part about being me is my ability/curse to overthink everything. On one side I can think of a lot of ideas and good things and stuff but on the other side I can't escape this anxiety on things I've done wrong. It's my best part and I worst part. #NAKS

My questions:

1. If you were a type of cake, what would you be and why?
2. If you could change one thing about you what would it be? (Boring, I know)
3. Give the song that you've been playing on repeat for the past few days.
4. Your favorite thing about where you live right now.
5. The last thing that made you really happy. Or rather, describe the last time you felt the happiest.